Make your own free website on Tripod.com
 
 
CopsOnline.net
Cop Stories
 
Funny
Scary
Unique
Thought Provoking
Dumb
Sad
CopsOnline.net
   
  & Jokes
  "Sometime ,around  Nov.1996, I and an MT.Vernon police officer, went to a remote part of Rockcastle Co. (Ky) to serve an arrest warrant.  We arrived at a one room shack . We went up to the entrance where there were three subjects asleep in room . I  announced myself as a Deputy Sheriff.  One subject lying on the couch near the entrance would not respond. The MT. Vernon police officer hit him on the foot with a fly swatter which was laying next to him.  He woke up.  He asked us what the hell was going on.  We asked him where the subject we were looking for was . He stated, "I dont know." The othe two subjects in room were still asleep .  I heard some snoring coming from an area above the room. It was loud deep snoring which was filling the whole room . I climbed a makeshift ladder to get to the room and told the subject to get up because they were under arrest. To my surprise, a woman arose from her sleep. She said, "Come on to bed honey."  I quickly came down the ladder embarrased to say the least. Meanwhile one of the other subjects had awakened.  It was the lady's husband.  He wanted to know what I was doing up their with his wife.  I was speechless at that point and I was ready to leave.  The other officer at this time had located the subject we where looking for outside asleep in a pickup truck.  We made the arrest without futher incident. As we left, one of the subjects told us to come back and see them when we were by again.  Needless to say I've never been back.

Have a good one!
DARK WING.

  A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:
Man: What's the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives
his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh  Harry, you never wear your seat belt.
Man: Shut your mouth, woman!
Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?
Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

  A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says 'It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go.' The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says 'My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back'.
      A dirtbag breaks into a house and hears a voice say 'Jesus is watching you'.  He freezes up for a second, takes a look around and when he didn't see anybody, reaches for the VCR and hears the voice again say 'Jesus is watching you'.  He looks around again and notices a parrot over in the corner of the room.   He reaches for the VCR again and the parrot says 'Jesus is watching you'.  He walks over to the parrot and asks it what it's name was.  The parrot told him 'Moses'.  The criminal asked the parrot what kind of idiot named a parrot Moses. The parrot said 'The same kind of idiot that would name a Doberman Jesus'.